Watching Ugly Betty

1. Daniel: “Don’t do that to me you’re not the only one in charge.”
Alexis: “I am the only one with pupils that aren’t the size of quarters.”
When she cuts him off

2. Wilhelmina: “Okay girls tuck them back in, your both big.”
Trying to stop Alexis and Daniel from fighting

3. Wilhelmina: “Your boyfriend fakes his death and comes back as a very big girl. Their really isn’t a card for that.” When she finds out that Jordan is Alexis’ ex-girlfriend

4. Marc: You’re as dead on the outside as you are on the inside.” To Wilhelmina when she’s worried about her laugh lines showing

5. Amanda: “It’s so unfair. I finally got a hot boyfriend and I can’t even use it to make all the other sluts feel bad about themselves.” When she can’t make out with Tavares in public

6. Hilda: “It means the women is nuts. A minute ago she was eating a candle.” Describing the healer to Betty

7. Betty: “She wants me to fill in mom’s side of the tree.”
Hilda: “You could climb it with those toe nails.” When she’s figured out the healer’s cryptic message

8. Marc: “Don’t tell me you forget we were going to rent 300 and enjoy the mildly homophobic slash homoerotic content?”
Amanda: “I’m sorry its Tavares party.”
Marc: “Of course Tavares. Clearly you’ve replaced me with that African Queen. Looks like I’m yesterday gay’s news.” When she can’t hang out with him after work

9. Jordan: “By the way the boobs are amazing.”
Alexis: “Thanks, their yours. I took a picture of you to the surgeon. The nose is Kate Winslet’s.” commenting on her transformation

10. Marc: “You were just dismissed turns out he’s a mean gay.”
Amanda: “So what you’re a mean gay too.”
Marc: “Yes. But not to you.”
Amanda: “Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.”
Marc: “That was constructive criticism.”
Amanda: “Well what am I supposed to do about it?”
Marc: “I don’t know. As a friend my job is only to point things out.” When he tries to show her Tavares is being rude to her

11. Marc: “You’re in love with a gay man! It’s like you and me all over again.”
Amanda: “I was never in love with you.”
Marc: “Oh are you kidding? When we first met you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me.”
Amanda: “That was before you got your veneers. You had that dark tooth, I couldn’t look away.”
Marc: “Okay. Big head.”
Amanda: “Dark tooth.”
Marc: “Nicole bitchy.”
Amanda: “Nelly Ripa.” After Marc sees Amanda and Tavares kissing

12. Hilda: “Let’s just live here, get jobs, watch our asses grow.” A stressed Hilda when she and Betty finally manage to walk to the town

13. Marc: “Oh really. Well apparently that sad little hag can have it and has. In ways that are too disgusting to even think about! You could have had a real relationship with that women and you would have been lucky, because she is one of the nicest easiest girls around.”
Tavares: “Marc”
Marc: “Okay maybe she’s not nice.” to Tavares after he insults Amanda

14. Marc: “Open your eyes people. He’s straight. Straight as the crease on an old mans jeans” inning Tavares at his party

15. Marc: “If anybody hears us they’ll just think its Christina stumbling around blind drunk, crying and making out with the mannequin.”
Amanda: “Again.” When they break into the Christina’s closet

300, A Tree Grows in Guadalajara, Episode 22, Kate Winslet, quotes, Ugly Betty